Friday, December 27, 2013

Happy Holidaays

Originally published Dec 26, 2010...

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Can it really be that a whole year has already gone by since last Kwanzaa? And the answer is "no it hasn't" - because Kwanzaa is a week long, and so it's only been 51 weeks since the last one. Still, it just doesn't seem like most of a year could have gone by so rapidly.

It is, of course, a time of warmth and nostalgia for all of us, filled with holiday traditions and memories. Hearing Bing Crosby sing
Nguzo Saba...watching "How the Grinch Stole Odu Ifa"...or settling in with a cup of hot cocoa to watch Jimmy Stewart in the classic "It's a Wonderful Walimwengu."

We only wish that everyone could keep the spirit of Kwanzaa in their hearts "24/7, 364 days a year" (as Janet Napolitano used to say). It seems like it's
always our goal...and maybe this year we'll actually be able to stick to it!

But for now,
Hope n' Change wishes one and all a very Heri za Kwanzaa. And a Hotep Ase Heri!


Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Christmas 2013

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In all seriousness, I wish I could send home-baked cookies to everyone who visits this site. But in lieu of that, let me wish everyone (whatever your beliefs) a very Merry Christmas, and also share my hopes that we can indeed someday share Peace on Earth and Good Will to Men.  
-Stilton Jarlsberg

Monday, December 23, 2013

Son of a Beach

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Christmas is nearly here, which means that Barack Obama has returned (like leprosy) to his island home in Hawaii to burn through a few million taxpayer dollars, play golf, and eat shave ice while seeing as little of his family as humanly possible.

Not that his annual escape from Washington will be all fun. He might spend a few somber moments dabbing crocodile tears while offering condolences to the family of health official Loretta Fuddy, the only woman who saw, copied, and verified his alleged birth certificate before she was involved in a plane crash in Hawaii one week ago and, of all the people on board, was the only fatality.

As usual, the president will be staying at an insanely luxurious and expensive mansion in the little town of Kailua on Oahu (a town we know very, very well), on a beautiful beach in the shadow of a mountaintop concrete World War II pillbox which, thank heavens, nobody is likely to use as a nearly impregnable sniper's perch.

Which we can joke about (ha, ha!) because we know that the Secret Service will already have checked the pillbox out and made sure it was safe, in much the same way they made sure that the president's South African translator wasn't a violent, fraudulent, actively hallucinating schizophrenic.

It is not currently known if Barry, as he's known in Hawaii, will be reuniting with any surviving members of his old drug-addled "choom gang," or simply spending time on his own reflecting about how much he hated white people when he lived in Hawaii. Either way, "good times."

And so, Mr. Obama, Hope n' Change encourages you to stay in Hawaii as long as possible and wishes you a heartfelt "Mele Kalikimaka."

God knows you've caused enough of a melee back here on the mainland.

 Fun trivia note: it's still called "twerking" whether you're simulating sex or leadership!